get phree!

My name is Anthony. This is the dead end on the internet where I sometimes drive to dump old couches and other stuff.

getphree [at] gmail [dot] com

Apr 22 2013

Mar 27 2013

Also, I Own The Sun

“Can you come in right now?  Shannon wants you on the show today.”

I expected this wakeup call.  It was the last thought I had before falling asleep at my sunrise bedtime two hours prior.  

At a Downtown club the night before, I crossed paths and was introduced to the producer of The Shannon Burke Show, a powerhouse radio show whose namesake personality was a scarily strong-willed biker guy. 

Through mutual friends, the producer had learned of a stunt I pulled and he told me I may be requested to come into the studio.  ”Should we schedule this to happen next week?” I hopefully asked, knowing this pre-noon time slot would required some sleep shifting.

“That’s not how radio works, man.  There’s urgency.  When I tell Shannon your story, he’ll make a decision on the spot.”

//

To me, the story was already two years and four months from timely.

In June of 2003, I took ownership of the Sun.  The central body of our solar system.  Our lifesource.  Such a crucial object— and it was legally mine via the United Nations.

I was inspired by a man I discovered had done the same, three decades before, with the Moon. A few hours of late night research yielded the legal instruments I needed to replicate such a claim.  I shared all my findings with a science-obsessed friend and asked him which cosmic body would make the proudest possession.

“Dude, THE SUN!” he answered, instantly.

It seems ridiculous to overlook such an obvious answer; but my frame of mind was on planets and inconsequential stars and satellites throughout the Universe.  His simple yet genius collaboration warranted fifty percent ownership and we co-signed the claim letter I drafted.

“Don’t you dare send that letter in this time of war!” his mother commanded.  I suppose her fanatic opposition took its toll because only a couple years later he wanted nothing to do with all of this.  He thinks of it as a counter-establishment act (for entertainment, even I’ve spun it as exploitative of loopholes in UN treaties).  This is rule of law, however; a piggyback on the establishment’s own covenants.  After all, the claim graciously afforded them the onus to dispute.

We mailed the certified letter to UN headquarters and waited for a refutation.  It never came.

//

(story continued soon)


Nov 21 2012

Nov 11 2012

Sep 28 2012

Sep 23 2012

Jul 9 2012

Jul 2 2012


Jun 10 2012

Jun 9 2012

May 27 2012

May 24 2012
Fawlty Towers and Lipton Extra Noodle— nothing feels better on stay-home days.  

Why are there only twelve episodes of this show but 984 episodes of Cops?

Fawlty Towers and Lipton Extra Noodle— nothing feels better on stay-home days.

Why are there only twelve episodes of this show but 984 episodes of Cops?


May 19 2012
Hiking phosphate mines

Hiking phosphate mines


May 17 2012
These things are the reason I still have great hearing.  The manufacturer sent me a free huge box of the good ones plus refund when I told them I was disappointed in the new glossy material.

These things are the reason I still have great hearing. The manufacturer sent me a free huge box of the good ones plus refund when I told them I was disappointed in the new glossy material.


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